Not just another hockey mom

Dear Sarah Palin,

I’m sorry, but I don’t really believe that you’ve ever been “just another hockey mom.” When was the last time you were worried about making ends meet for your family of 7? When you found out that your baby would have Down Syndrome, you never had to wonder how on earth you would be able to raise a VERY needy child while also working 70+ hours per week (I assume, but perhaps I am mistaken) as governor of Alaska, did you? Medical bills aren’t really an issue, are they?

If you and John McCain were to make it to the White House, you would do less for women’s rights than any of the other presidential or vice presidential candidates.  If you had your way, you would likely reverse much of the progress that has been made over many hard years.  And now, today, we hear that your 17-year-old daughter Bristol is 5 months pregnant.  Did she really have any say in the “choices” you have announced that she has made?  For her sake, I hope she is happy keeping her baby and marrying the young man, and I hope the road ahead is not too hard for her.

Some people may believe that progress for women continues with the first woman on a Republican party ticket. I wish I could believe that John McCain had such honorable intentions.

The women of America will not be fooled. I look forward to your vice presidential debates with Joe Biden.

We just want to be happy

Seems everyone in my grad program is in “crisis mode” these days. All at different stages in the program, many of us are looking at what we’re doing and asking, “how do people do this?” or “what AM I going to do with this degree?” or “when will I have time to do all the other things I enjoy?” I don’t know what it is – the economy? That might have something to do with it, but it’s not the whole story. Throughout all of this, the faculty seem completely oblivious, idealistic, and unrealistic.

Strange how we all reach this point, especially since most of us entered feeling very sure of what we wanted in life. I have a sense of what I want now, but it doesn’t really include the vigorous pursuit of a research career at the expense of all the things I like to do and all of the people I like to spend time with and visit.

I don’t have any deep thoughts on this or any solutions just now. Just needed to get that out there. So many unknowns come to wear on one’s soul.

Why Title IXing science won’t work

On my tougher days, this article by Philip Greenspun makes an awful lot of sense, and there sure are some gems to be quoted from it!! Even if you don’t agree, it might give you a good laugh!

My boyfriend likes to ask (of himself as well): is it possible for something to stay fun when it’s your full-time job?  Seems relevant to the above!

Title IXing science?

I received this NYtimes article from a number of sources today.  My primary reaction was “this is not the way we want to go!”  I think it might work okay for sports (since I’ve never really done the team sport thing outside of 1st and 2nd grade softball, I don’t have a strong opinion on this), but I don’t think it would work well in science.  The article makes good points – it seems there are fewer women in these disciplines, often, because of choices that women make.  To me, the interesting question is WHY they are making those choices – is it something inherent in SCIENCE, or is it something inherent in how we PRACTICE science?  What can we change in our practices that make it something that women want to pursue?

That’s all I have to say on that for now.  Still processing . . .

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted.  Summer seems a good time to catch up on all kinds of things.  Just not blogging.

Negotiating for the YOU

Today I attended a very interesting panel discussion at my institution, focused on the topic of women, negotiation, and the academic marketplace. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but was thoroughly impressed. One main message that was carried throughout was that women tend not to ask for things as much as men do. No doubt related to this is the fact that academic women tend to value their worth 30% less, on average, than do men. One woman referenced a book by Linda Babcock, where she learned that men tend to compare yearly evaluations to a ball game or a wrestling match, while women compare yearly evaluations to something more akin to going to the doctor or dentist for a less-than-desirable but necessary procedure. In academia, there is far more than just salary that can be negotiated – there is teaching load, startup funds, research space, terms of sabbatical, and much much more. Even things like child care slots can potentially be negotiated. These women took the attitude of “you can always ASK” – and if you back up what you are asking for with research and evidence, you may go far.

Somewhere, deep down, I think I knew these things. But it was so critically important to hear them again – and to hear them again from women in powerful positions within the university. No doubt, it’s a tricky business to do research on these things, especially at private universities. But it’s no less important.

So that others may benefit, I will list some of the specific pieces of advice I heard today:

Do NOT make the negotiation personal – make it categorical: Rather than “X person in this department makes $5,000 more than me, and I should too because X” You might try: “My performance in teaching, research, and service have been excellent – here’s HOW [insert examples here]. Could you look at [salary, research space, etc.) equity across my rank?”

Many women are VERY good at negotiating things for others – their children, parents, or friends. Try thinking of negotiating for yourself as you might for others.

Playing the market is one way of doing research – but BEWARE some pitfalls: 1) doing this takes a lot of energy; 2) you need to be careful of giving ultimatums to you current employer – if they say “no,” you might have to leave; 3) playing the market may put you in a mindset of leaving

Be clear to yourself about what matters in your life and WRITE IT DOWN

For yearly evaluations, do a thorough self evaluation, and give yourself credit for things that take up your time and which have value – things others may not immediately recognize.

Sometimes we find out what is possible – in terms of negotiation – if we have a friend in the same job market who is a little ahead of us.

Begin your negotiations before anything is on paper.

Don’t let your ego get tied up in negotiation

Finally, here are some recommended books from today’s panel:

Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives (Anna Fels)

Women Don’t Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation–and Positive Strategies for Change (Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever)

Ask For It! How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want (Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever)

Why So Slow? The Advancement of Women (Virginia Valian)

Caught in a trap

My brother recently brought scatterblog, and this specific entry to my attention.    It’s pretty interesting, and really shows how we’re all a little stuck, as long as we pursue academic tenure track careers, in this constant cycle of work.  Here we are, fighting for a change in culture that recognizes the need for work-life balance, and all the while feeling really guilty when we take a whole weekend, or even, imagine, taking a few DAYS OFF.   I fight this all the time.  It’s the end of the school year at my institution, and I spent 10 hours on Friday grading  all the exams for the class I TA’d.  So, now I am done.  With that.  But of course that just means I have all this wonderful time to take care of my research.

The guilt is much worse, I think, for mothers and fathers.  Because now they have even more hats they are trying to wear, and we all want to excel at everything.  It’s never just enough.

Sometimes I wish I could just BE.  Doesn’t that sound nice?

What defines a good role model?

Within my program, the subject of a lack of female role models comes up often. There’s a fair number of women in our psych department, but we always seem to be able to name some apparent “sacrifice” that these women have made to get where they are: divorced, still single, childless, etc. Clearly, some of these women are likely perfectly happy with their choices. For those of us who “want it all,” though, we’re not sure the role models even exist. “Maybe because it’s NOT actually possible?” – the question always comes up.  The lack of female role models is upsetting because there seems to be no shortage of men who DO seem to have it all – but they also have wives who have not worked full time outside the home.  All of us, we joke, could use a wife.

I think the definition of a “successful” role model is going to be different for each of us, depending on our goals. Personally, I think that there are many individuals out there that I would consider role models – I just haven’t found them because they might not be faculty in academia, or at least not faculty at a top research university. I want to find women Ph.D.s who went on to OTHER things, feel they are using their degree in at least some broad sense, and feel that they are living a balanced life. I want to see what the alternative is.

So, if you know anyone, will you let me know? I have this dream of collecting their stories. I know they are out there. This book suggests that they are, and tells some of their stories.

Is Change Possible?

Yes. I’ve compiled a list(in no way is this comprehensive!) of schools around the country that provide either some sort of supported birth/maternity leave or subsidized childcare support for their graduate students. More change is still needed: fathers are often excluded in such policies (Michigan being a great exception). What works for one place may not work for another – I don’t believe there is a one-size-fits-all solution. And, I don’t have data that tell me whether these policies have made a difference; nor do I have the small print of these policies. But I do see that there ARE some leaders, and progress can happen.

Links to other schools’ policies related to childbirth/adoption/newborn care:

Penn State’s policy allows birth mothers 6-8 weeks off with continuation of stipend support (contingent on a variety of specific factors related to where funding comes from)
The University of Michigan offers a parental accommodation period of six weeks for mothers and fathers immediately following the birth or adoption of a child, and stipend support is continued.
Princeton provides a 12 week accommodation period for birth mothers, with funding, as well as an extension of deadlines and support by one full term
Berkeley provides a 6 week accommodation period for childbearing women, with stipend support (contingent upon previous stipend support)

Links to other schools’ policies related to childcare:

The University of Michigan offers a childcare subsidy of up to $1870 per full term per child for eligible graduate students
Princeton provides up to $5,000 per year per child in childcare subsidies, based on income
Oregon State provides up to 50% coverage of childcare expenses, based on income
Cornell University offers a childcare subsidy of 25%-35% of annual cost based on household income up to $57,200

Men wanted for a good cause

Ever since our group’s beginnings, we’ve grappled with what we think is an important question: “How do we include men?” Because, fundamentally, all of us believe that the issues we face are not exclusively WOMEN’S ISSUES. We think of them more as issues that, despite living in more egalitarian times, still seem to affect women more than men. But we needed a name, and we WERE all women. The “Work-Life-Family Balance Issues” group wasn’t so catchy, though WLFBI does sound a bit like a radio station. Has our name done us in? I hope not. We haven’t had a ton of events yet, but men have been explicitly invited to all of them. I hope some time they DO come, because we need them on board with these issues. We need them, because as of now, they are usually more than half of the culture-setters, the policy-makers, and the policy-enacters. We need them because these issues are important for them, even if they aren’t caretakers. They are issues that could affect their spouses, their children, and their colleagues.

Do we scare them off? Any of you men out there? Some thoughts? I promise we don’t bite . . .

Changing campus culture

I’ve been doing some research, for our IRB proposal, into what other schools are doing to make academic life more family-friendly, and also just trying to figure out what is known about how the status quo affects men vs. women and individuals with care-giving responsibilities vs. those without them. It’s pretty interesting. Two great articles come out of a publication of the AAUP, or American Association of University Professors. The first one is “Do Babies Matter? The Effect of Family Formation on the Lifelong Careers of Academic Men and Women”, and the second is a followup to that: “Do Babies Matter (Part II)? Closing the Baby Gap.” These articles, by Mary Ann Mason, now former dean of the graduate division at Berkeley, and Marc Goulden, are the kind of thing we need to see, because they are coming from the top. Using a large database, the Survey of Doctorate Recipients, they reveal some disturbing statistics based on this longitudinal study of over 160,000 Ph.D. recipients in the United States.

Comparing academic men and women who had babies join their households prior to five years after completion of the Ph.D., the report revealed a 24% gap overall between men’s and women’s rates of achieving tenure twelve to fourteen years after receiving the Ph.D. In addition, 12-14 years after the Ph.D., 62% of women in the humanities and social sciences and 50% of those in the sciences do not have children; compared to 39% and 30% of men for those respective fields. It does not seem that these are due to differences between academic men and women in their desires to have children – in their second report, Mason and Goulden include findings from a survey of faculty of the entire University of California system, and reveal that 38% of women, compared to 18% of men, reported that they had fewer children than they wanted.

In response to such findings, the University of California system has made changes to its family-friendly package for faculty.

Such change is promising. But, as the authors note, these initiatives will do no good without a “collective will” to change the campus culture.