We just want to be happy
Seems everyone in my grad program is in “crisis mode” these days. All at different stages in the program, many of us are looking at what we’re doing and asking, “how do people do this?” or “what AM I going to do with this degree?” or “when will I have time to do all the other things I enjoy?” I don’t know what it is – the economy? That might have something to do with it, but it’s not the whole story. Throughout all of this, the faculty seem completely oblivious, idealistic, and unrealistic.
Strange how we all reach this point, especially since most of us entered feeling very sure of what we wanted in life. I have a sense of what I want now, but it doesn’t really include the vigorous pursuit of a research career at the expense of all the things I like to do and all of the people I like to spend time with and visit.
I don’t have any deep thoughts on this or any solutions just now. Just needed to get that out there. So many unknowns come to wear on one’s soul.
Sing it, sister!!! Well, cousin.
Welcome to The Quarter-life Crisis. It sucks. I’m at the first conference of my real professional life…and wow, does it leave me confused! I LOVE it! Could it be that all my assumptions that I need to do non-profit program work to be fulfilled in my job were wrong? What the heck would that mean?
I recall a brief conversation with a bunch of professional women when I was working at a conference during grad school. These were women doing amazing work in religion and women’s issues. Walking through the dark, leafy streets of Cambridge, I said to them “How did you all get yourselves into such interesting careers?” The response?
They laughed.
All of them. Simultaneously. And said, “Oh honey, none of us had any clue we’d end up here. We thought we knew what we’d do…and then life happened, and here we are!”
Not sure whether that’s comforting or disconcerting, either to you or to me…but that’s what I always think of when I’m contemplating these things.
That’s very encouraging, actually! It’s something I find over and over again – the most interesting people with the most interesting careers just sort of “fell” into them. I guess sometimes I get impatient though, and just want that fall to happen!
And again I say, “Sing it, sister!” Right there with you on the impatient!!